Everyone Falls for the Person, Not the Gender

In a recent article The Advocate published “Nine Celebs Who Fell For The Person, Not The Gender”.
This was really disappointing given how well they had been doing in regards to bisexual isdues. But it’s also a learning opportunity.
“I love people not genders/hearts not parts! ” is a thing I have commented on before. For a refresher go here

Every. Single. Human. On. The. Planet.  Falls for a person. This is not limited to straight people, queer people, bisexuals, pansexuals or any other group. You simply can not fall in love with a gender in the same way you can’t fall in love with any other abstract catagory.
I’m tired of this being used to erase people. Or create holier then thou hierarchy.
This needs to end. Full stop.
This concept is like poison candy.  On the outside it looks and might taste sweet,  but that inner taste isn’t almonds it’s arsenic. 



Filed under Bisexuality, LGBT Writing

2 responses to “Everyone Falls for the Person, Not the Gender

  1. “Hearts not parts” makes me roll my eyes because it sounds like denying that they couldn’t ‘fall’ for someone because of their parts alone – and trying to put extra emphasis on the person instead. I know that as a life-long bisexual, I’ve been attracted to hearts AND parts because, duh, that’s the way attraction works and the parts can get your attention way before you learn about the person who owns the parts.

    What you learn is that just because it looks good doesn’t mean it is good; some of the worst people I know have the best looking parts and some of the best people I know have parts that aren’t so widely desirable, to put it that way. Still, anyone who tells you that hearts are more important than parts is just lying like a rug – that or they don’t understand how attraction really works because just like with food, we eat with our eyes and the parts were designed in our evolution to attract and stimulate.

    Yep, ultimately, it’s the whole person you wind up falling for but to say their parts ain’t a part of this thing or you can’t be smitten by parts alone? Totally ridiculous…

  2. Sharon Hylton

    Thank you. Haven’t read your other posts on this yet, but people have said this to me in the most well meaning way, and being so new to it all as a recently out (to myself or anyone) bi, I have tried to take it as a nice affirming comment without being able to articulate my yucky feelings about it. Now I hope I can have the tools to explain to others how this is not actually affirming to me.

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