My Gender Matters to ME so we it Needs to Matter to YOU

I am 100% done with the rhetoric of ” I’m pansexual/omnisexual/any thing but bisexual and my partners gender isn’t important to me because I am oh so enlightened”
And this is often said as some sort of statement of trans* solidarity.
Listen up people.
My gender is REALLY important to me. And if you want to have anything to do with me AT ALL, not even being partners, to be FRIENDS with me it had better be important to you. If you want to have sex with me my gender had better be EXTREMELY frelling important to you. Like number 2 on your list after ” are you a human, alive and consenting?”

You do NOT get to determine if my gender is important or a factor. If I were to find out a partner ” didn’t care about” my gender I would be very hurt.

Larger LGBT community you need to knock this off to. ESPECIALLY in graphics you peddle to cis hets AND the community.

DO NOT tell people their genders do not matter. It is not a compliment, OR a statement of solidarity.



Filed under LGBT Writing

2 responses to “My Gender Matters to ME so we it Needs to Matter to YOU

  1. Eh, yeah. Saying gender doesn’t matter at all is deeply reminiscent to me of people claiming to be colour-blind. Erasing someone’s identity is not the same as acceptance.

  2. What I more often hear people claim is that gender doesn’t dictate who they are attracted to. I don’t think most are saying that it doesn’t matter in an absolute sense or that they don’t perceive or react to it (if they are, then yeah, that’s stupid and problematic.) Gender definitely matters, but perceived or stated membership in a particular gender group (or lack thereof) does not necessarily enhance or prevent my attraction to any given person. So it may be that many of the pansexuals etc. are just using “I don’t care about gender” as shorthand for “Gender categorization does not determine my capacity to be attracted to someone,” though they should choose their words more carefully.

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