Monthly Archives: June 2013

Intent Means Jack and Squat and Jack has Left Town

Trigger warning: sexist , ableist and transphobic slurs

I have received tons of responses about my last post dealing with how the rhetoric of ” I don’t care about gender/ doesn’t matter/gender blind” used predominantly by pansexuals is problematic and transphobic and cissexist.

The two main detracting responses have basically been derailments from my point consisting of either people running at me and screaming ” but we aren’t all like that!!!” And then telling me how they or their friend aren’t and demanding a precious ally cookie.
The other response has often bordered on ableism.It consists of people talking in very condescending ways at me about how I missed the INTENT behind the phrase and that because of my stupidity or disability my complaint is silly, to be brushed off as soon as I am informed of how stupid I was to miss the INTENT of the phrase.

Here is the thing. Intent counts for jack and squat and Jack just left town. I know what the INTENT was. But that doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if you didn’t intend to harm someone the point is you did and how you need to STOP.

Saying “gender doesn’t matter/ you don’t care ” is transphobic and cissexist.
End. The intent is not important.

It needs FIXED and by fixed I mean ended. If all the pan’s who stopped to beg for ally cookies or tell me very nicely that poor silly ole learning disabled me just missed the INTENT of the phrase instead worked on their own communities problems with cissexism and transphobia  there would be a huge dent in it by now.

So instead of telling me I’m missing the intent or in boxing me messages about how I’m a dumb twat or a tranny or how I’m a stupid retard that missed the intent, or how I’m a fat ugly dyke OR how I should go die maybe just maybe you all could go fix the problems trans* people have pointed out.( yes those are all things I got called/told in response to the post)

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My Gender Matters to ME so we it Needs to Matter to YOU

I am 100% done with the rhetoric of ” I’m pansexual/omnisexual/any thing but bisexual and my partners gender isn’t important to me because I am oh so enlightened”
And this is often said as some sort of statement of trans* solidarity.
Listen up people.
My gender is REALLY important to me. And if you want to have anything to do with me AT ALL, not even being partners, to be FRIENDS with me it had better be important to you. If you want to have sex with me my gender had better be EXTREMELY frelling important to you. Like number 2 on your list after ” are you a human, alive and consenting?”

You do NOT get to determine if my gender is important or a factor. If I were to find out a partner ” didn’t care about” my gender I would be very hurt.

Larger LGBT community you need to knock this off to. ESPECIALLY in graphics you peddle to cis hets AND the community.

DO NOT tell people their genders do not matter. It is not a compliment, OR a statement of solidarity.

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