The Trevor Project recently gave Katy Perry an award.That is utter frelling B.S.To save time and space go hereto read why Perry is a biphobic,transphobic,homophobic bigot.
So what,in this quests opinion would it take to soothe my wrath and get me to buy her cs’s?
1: Remove “Ur so Gay” and “I kissed a Girl” from all future printings of “One of the Boys” album.Never perform them live again.Stop all printing of the singles.Take the “I kissed a Girl” video down from her official youtube.Also remove them from itunes/other digital venues
2: Donate any remaining money from those songs to Bisexual and Lesbian charity groups and the money from “Gay” to suicide prevention and education.
3: Apologize and take responsibility for the harm her songs and attitudes have caused.Specifically to the bisexual and trans* community
4: Work with trans* advocacy groups to put an end to her transphobia and cissexism
Do those 4 things and I might,just might consider her next Cd.I might even someday consider her an ally.But she will have to do those things to prove she is serious.Serious about the very real damage her actions have done.
I’ve seen far,far to many posts around the internet asking for a definition of pansexual,polysexual etc or how they relate to bisexuality.Nothing inherently wrong with this per say.But about 4 sentences into the answer everything devolves into a giant cluaterfrell of policing,negativity and just plain lazyness.
So here let me clear this up for you for each type of question I’ve seen
Step 1: receive question about ” define poly/pan/omni ”
Step 2: check to see if you are any of those.If yes give the definition most used by you and others.If no try and find a well researched definition that is inclusive,does not rely on negatively defining some other sexuality AND is made by the people who are that sexuality.
Step 3: post
“What is the difference between bisexual and x?”
Step 1: if you are x define if no refer to Step 2 of previous.
Step 2: consult either places such as BiNet USA or other prominent bisexual orgs or author’s such as Robyn Ochs.
Step 3: post info from them
Step 4: Check yourself for any policing or other douche baggary.
Step 5: post
Step 6: if real bisexual or people of x sexuality tell you did wrong accept it,apologize and change it.
Even if it means that you or x seem “less queer”/”less hip”.Cause come on let’s be honest here, a lot of the redefining of bi against the experience of bisexuals has more to do with the fear and insecurity of being “not queer enough/cool enough” then it does with the persons inability to successfully google up bisexual resources.
Book mark this if you have to.
Tell me one more time.Again.Tell me how you don’t see my gender.
Tell me how,with your cool holster smile,how you are gone.Gone beyond seeing my gender.Enlightenment hail! How this gender,this body is a blank space for your eyes.You only see me.
Tell me how others are dirty,below you for seeing it.For lusting for it or passing over it.
Tell me again how you are blind to gender.
This gender I have struggled with to find words to articulate.
This gender that I have bled for.Cried for.Nearly died for.
This gender that I carve out of my body,out of the world,daily.
This bleeding screaming,binding,tucking,gnawing thing that is it.
This laughter at found friends and the tears as old ones leave.
This gender that I love and live in.
This gender that I fight for,that many have died for.
Tell me again how you are blind to it.Tell me how all that doesn’t matter.How enlightened you are because of it.
How you only see “me”.
Because if you truely believe that you are blind.Because you can not see me at all.
(Trigger Warnings: misgendering,transphobia,cissexism,fat shaming,self harm,suicide,depression)
The nice woman from behind the counter smiles sweetly and hands you the bag, “Have a nice Day! God you are fat!” She waves as you slink out of the store.She doesn’t know any better you console yourself.You go to see some work colleagues.”Nice to see you! Ready to work on those ideas?! Good god you are fat!” They exclaim at you.You blush and tug at your clothes. ” Actually Im really not..could you please not say that?” The coworker laughs and says ” well if you just LOOKED less hideously fat it would be easier!” Your face is red.You go to work. After work you go to the local support group for people in situations like yours. ” Yes you had something to share lardass?” The leader asks.You stammer out that you don’t like being called that.You are not comfortable with it and it denotes a negative connotations to fatness that is wrong you point out.”But..but” you stammer. “Besides,not calling you that is to hard and weird!” The conversation moves on.”hideous,fatass,jumbo,ugly” thats how everyone refers to you.Even those who know you hate it do nothing. You cry inside.You go home to vent a bit online.” If you dont like it make a petition to get people like you taught in schools!” ” if you get so angry no one will listen!” ” who cares! Its no big deal!” Come the replies from friends. ” maybe if you looked less..fat and hideous but until then I’m calling you that”. You look in the mirror.Maybe you ARE a fat hideous monster.Maybe they are right.You dont deserve respect.You go get your razor and begin slicing.Alone in the dark. The next morning the bus driver greets you ” good morning ugly troll!” As he swings the door open.” Aren’t you sleepy this morning troll face!” Chirps your professor.” Troll.Cave troll.” Eat any goats today?” The day goes on.At the end you sit alone in front of the mirror.” Maybe I am a ugly troll” Soon all the ” maybes” become ” I am-s” Soon the pain and hate at the mirror become to great.Corpses cant be “too” anything.Corpses can only rot in silence. Imagine going through that.Day in and day out.Over and over.People pointing out your greatest insecurities.For me one of them has always been my weight.I know this is true for millions as well.Whatever it is you hate over and over. For me this is what misgendering and refusal to use proper pronoyns feels like.Some you learn to shrug off.Like the cashier and bus driver.But others,co workers,friends and allies are harder and cut much deeper.As a trans* person having my assigned sex at birth (ASAB) constantly pointed out while my true gender is ignored is one of my greatest insecurities. This is what it is like to be misgendered.This is that pain.Please think before you speak or type.Especially if you want to call yourself an ally or friend.Using the correct name and pronouns is NOT ABOUT YOU.It is about respect and the dignity of the person.Misgendering denies the reality of the person and thus their dignity as a human.If a trans* person complains about being misgendered it is not your place to derail the discussion in any way.No ” but you’re to angry!/not all of us do that/ what about the GOOD ones?(aka pat me on the back Im uncomfortable!) Or anything found at http://www.derailingfordummies.com doing this makes you the oppressor and part of the persons on going pain.So don’t.
I went back to my parents house recently to pack up some of the things I had left there,books mostly,a few photos and really rad toys.As I cleared out an old bookshelf I found a plastic spiral book,complete with laminated yellow construction paper cover.It was a story book made for a second grade project.Each page had lined paper at the top,the kind with the little dashes in the middle so you can shape the letters better,and a blank space at the bottom for a picture.Mine was about some archaeologists who find an” Egyptian tomb with a a gem in it,which by the way is totally cursed.” Direct qoute there.”The archaeologist touched it and is turned into a jaguar man! Oh! I forgot to mention the cat goddess Bastet had cursed it”- another direct qoute there.
Long short story short the jaguar goes on a killing spree and they trick him back into the tomb with another shiny gem and slam the doors shut.Basically burying him alive.The moral of this story was either “don’t be greedy and steal gems!” Or “always follow correct archaeological documentation procedure when entering a field site”.
In order for this blog to run as smoothly as possible I am going to try and adhere to a post scheduale:
-The start of each week will be a reposting of a former Bi Social Network Article.Sometimes these will be expanded upon and updated.These updates and expansions will be noted in the text themselves.
-Sometime during the week I will have an original post to this blog, time and health permitting.
-if I can not think of an orginal post I will most likely reblog and discuss a post or text
Things will carry on in this manor until I run out of older things and it only becomes the other two all the time.
So sit back and enjoy!